300 posts

I was hoping to hit 300 entries on this blog before baby 2.0 made her descent and it turns out that I just hit 300 today! (With the last post. This entry counts at 301.) I also was looking around here and realized that I’ve been on this blog for a year and a month now. How quickly time goes by.

Well, it’s been fun. We’ll see what transformation the blog takes as I enter mothering two precious souls.

Now, back to the sewing machine. I really want to finish this recon blanket.

Surprise unveiled

Sorry, didn’t mean to get your hopes up. But I bet you can appreciate a little jolt of adrenaline in your day, especially if you’re trying to avoid caffeine. Bilingual papi has opened shop. In other words, he’s started a blog. He has called it Laundry in the Kingdom of Letters. I needed an explanation, so don’t be shy about asking (I will leave it up to him to explain). Hopefully, he’ll answer all of our questions in the order received.

Enjoy his style of writing and his take on work/life/babies/bedtime/etc. He’ll also be the one to get the news out about Baby 2.0. I will be blogging until I go into labor but will probably take a hiatus once baby arrives.

So, click on Laundry in the Kingdom of Letters and stay tuned. I’m off to finish a sewing project (a recon t-shirt blanket) while bilingual baby takes an early nap.

The “no baby yet” post

I got a little (translation: very) irked today at a social outing we went to. I was feeling like I needed to get out so that the days would pass and I wouldn’t be focused on what I wanted to have happen (i.e. be in labor). We had just arrived at our destination when I got that comment. If you’ve ever been past your due date you know what comment it is. It’s the “you haven’t had your baby yet” comment. I’m told that in Japan people don’t state the obvious. And right then I wished I had been in Japan, among the crowd that still believed in not stating the obvious.

This woman’s comment crushed me. But why would I care about what another mama has to say? Right? I’m plenty defensive when I want to be. Not when I’m pregnant. Not when what she said (and continued to say) was an echo of my own thoughts. (FYI: My close friends have had the decency not to make these comments and have been so supportive of my feelings during my pregnancy.) Does it matter what else she said? If you’re the type to look at the words and forget the feelings associated, then no, it doesn’t matter. But if you can see that I was feeling really worn down from all the Braxton-Hicks, all the insomnia, the overall tiredness, you’d know that what really made this softy sad was what I heard from inside myself. The fact that she said, “Last time I saw you, you thought you were going to go early” (to which I responded that my due date is 9/1); or that she punched in a “wishful thinking, huh” just made the whole outing sour.

I wanted to leave right away. I didn’t want to sit there and sulk. I wanted to sit at home and sulk. (Granted sulking isn’t really doable when you have a goofy toddler.) So, no. No baby yet. And let’s now pay respect to the Japanese for having the brilliance of not stating the obvious.

(Post title could also read: What not to say to a pregnant woman. It would also have to include comments like, “wow, you’re big” and negative birth/post-partum stories.)

Blessingway

This weekend my close friends gathered at my home for my blessingway. It was something I won’t forget. I almost can’t remember what was said, but the feeling that I’m taking away from it is of complete support. They brought over food (some will get frozen for the postpartum period) and each one shared with me sincere words of advice as they lit a candle. Instead of a gift they put out a contribution bag and helped me pay for another day with our postpartum doula.

It was quiet (and not just because there were no kids). It was charged with energy in a way I hadn’t felt before. I didn’t know I would want something like this until this weekend and I think every woman would benefit from this gathering of women who play the role of support before, during and after the transition into motherhood.

Quite different from a baby shower, it wasn’t busy. There just seemed to be time. Time to sit and stare. Time to speak. Time to wait. Time to breathe. And in a time when most women turn inward in preparation for birthing, a blessingway creates the appropriate space to continue the opening of your heart and body.

It can be anything you want it to be. I got a foot massage and a neck rub, ate, had some readings which were followed by the sharing. It was simple but full, all in one.

Yeah: a conversation

Bilingual baby and papi engaged in the following conversation after he and I were theorizing why bilingual baby hadn’t had a nap all day long:

BP: Do you know something we don’t know?

BB: Yeah.

BP: (to me) I should run all lifes big decisions by her. (to her) Should I quit my job?

BB: Yeah.

BP: Is the baby a girl?

BB:(giggle)

BP: Is the baby a boy?

BB: (giggle)

BP: Will the Bears win?

BB: (giggle)

BP: Should I buy a convertible?

BB: No.

This went on for a while. Most things were answered with “yeah” but every once in a while she would just smile and laugh. She knows something…

Keep me busy

One way I’ve decided to keep my mind off my due date theories (which I find to be funny and entertaining) has been to have plans to do at least one thing a day. One of these things was the babywearing meet-up, which I was really looking forward to. This coming week I hope to make the La Leche League meeting and a playgroup I’ve enjoyed being a part of for a number of months now. We also have another prenatal.

In other words, I need to make a list and try to keep to it. I’ve also taken up a couple of sewing projects that aren’t for me. I’m making a Mei Tai for my pregnant sister and a blanket from old t-shirts that I’ve been asked to make from a fellow timebanker. These two projects shouldn’t take too long. I just have to make time for them. I also have a couple of diapers I need to repair- the elastic is shot.

The purging is going well. I just gave away a bunch of books last week and we’ve got another box of mixed interest books sitting outside for anyone to come and take. After a couple of days of that tactic, we may just have to recycle them. (Makes it sound like I consider recycling another form of trash, huh. I’ll have to think about that.)

Can you think of anything I could do to keep busy while my due date creeps up on me?

Babywearing group

I just started a Babywearing group for Central Vermont and we had our first meeting yesterday at the Kellogg-Hubbard library. The turn out was great. There were 5 moms plus kids and we all got to chat and try on carriers. I brought the carriers we own plus a sarong that works well for shoulder-less carries. One mom got to try on an Ergo before going to pick hers up, getting tips from another mom. One of my friends got to try on one of the Mei Tai’s I made and borrowed it for a while. She seemed to like how it felt, so that’s exciting. I even got to put a 3 month old baby on my back and get a high back carry going. The little baby just melted on my back. Such a sweet, juicy feeling.

Bilingual baby was also a good sport (as usual), getting up on my back so I could demo different carriers, but then again she loves being worn. She actually must have made babywearing seem like so much fun; she kept getting on my back and giggling. I’m also finding that she prefers to be carried rather than strolled. Probably because she’s just so young (IMO) to be in a stroller… and she knows what’s coming. She’s so in tune, it’s amazing. She’s been nursing more and more and, like I said, prefers a carrier to a stroller. She’s light enough and I seem to be sturdy enough that wearing her in town doesn’t put any pressure on my body.

I’ve also been using the Mei Tai that I got for Naw-Ruz (my first ever present on this Baha’i Holy day). I tie both ties above my belly and it’s actually really comfortable.

You call this an update?

More and more braxton hicks. More and more pre-labor work. I could be going like this for the next couple of weeks but at least I’m not sick and I’m feeling energetic (considering). Wanting to knit. Feeling like knitting season is near… which is exciting.

Was I saying something?

I’m finding myself stuck at conversational intersections, not sure what I should say next and/or not sure I should say what I was going to say next. I’m also finding that the transition from a mother of bilingual baby to a mother of bilingual baby and baby 2.0 is really stretching me and I like it. My midwife had some really powerful things to say about what she’s observed in my transformation so far. I’m looking forward to continuing on this road of growth but I must say it’s hard. Change is hard and the idea of being vulnerable, after being so vulnerable after giving birth to bilingual baby, is a road I’m afraid to be on. Luckily, I feel really supported by my midwife. She loves that I’m so open and vulnerable right now and I know she’ll be there for me when I make more leaps into being a mother of two.

Interesting that my postpartum doula has recommended to avoid gossip during my postpartum period. Even just chatting on the phone about other people’s stuff is no good. Not bad stuff, just stuff. I’m finding that I’m having a hard time being in conversations now due to this. It’s not like I’m going on and on about someone else. It’s even just the mundane that I’m having a hard time building a conversation around. In turn, I find myself stuck at these intersections. What do I say next? So, I blurt something out that makes no sense at all and sit on the silence that comes after.

Since I’m feeling disoriented in the conversation arena, I’ll leave you with another awesome post by Arun at the parenting pit called 10 Tips for Reforming Parenting Control Freaks. I really appreciate the first point he makes: Don’t watch. Arun suggests that instead of suggesting that your child will fall and hurt themselves, just don’t watch as they monkey around. I find this to be essential with bilingual baby’s gymnastic arts. Necessary for spending a day with her.

What time do I have to pee, mommy?

Potty training is not the current nomenclature, from what I hear. It’s Potty Learning. Is it the same thing? You be the judge on that. I’m not going to comment but I will share something I found online. I stumbled upon this gadget yesterday. It’s a watch for kids to wear that chimes every 30, 60 or 90 minutes- whatever the parent sets it at. This product promises to remind your child that they have bodily functions. The Potty Watch!

I’m just not so sure about this thing. It seems like a gimmick. What am I not seeing?